In this whole wide quest for social acceptance and self appraisals, how do you think you fare?
Okay, I guess... Good? The best maybe? Ohh, you are definitely better than your aunt's elder son. Have you looked at Brian? If only he would start wearing better clothes, maybe go to the gym, use that product and so on and so forth...
Reality is, we all have a habit of judging. So if your friend says that they don't judge people, be rest assured they do. Just in a different frame set than yours or most other people maybe.
It's in the brain - not only human but brain for every living being. The feeling that you sense something about someone, is judging them. The feeling a dog gets when he barks at a random stranger is because he judges them.
So, how, as humans (most intelligent / social animals on earth? Who's judging now? hehe.) could we be different? We cannot.
What we can do, however, is to change our perspectives. Judge in a better format. Be more logical in reasoning. And see things beyond just visual experience.
Where did we start judging from? Logically, our parents (Whoa!! Did I say something offensive there? Go on and read...). Parents are the first teachers. They tell us what is acceptable and what is not. Not talking about learning to walk / eat / shit properly - those are life skills. What I am coming at is the social acceptability. "Dont write on the walls", "Wear that new dress, relatives are coming home" etc etc. Nothing bad in that, but thats where it all begins. These are the thoughts that plant the seed for what is right and what is wrong. The rest is handled by the society. It shows you ways which are socially acceptable and ways which are socially unacceptable - like dressing improperly/ picking your nose in public/ scratching that itch in the asscrack. And then comes the whole era of media painting a picture of the right/wrong/beautiful/ugly/dirty and almost all the verbs you can associate with a person. This is the final nail in the coffin as this makes sure that either the person becomes so self righteous that they start pushing everyone around to be better that what they are or succumbing into a pitfall of self distruction - thinking that nobody likes you because you look or behave a certain way.
It is this thought that drives us our entire life and makes us take decisions. Decisions which seem perfect at the time but are far from the right choice.
What is the right choice? It may be the logical choice - but logic is also subjective to each individual. The right choice would be, in my perspective (see how I made it entirely MY LOGIC now?), to value the decision against the other side. For example, if you are commenting about someone, do you know the reasons behind their way of living? Getting into their shoes before saying something will actually help you see both sides of the coin - thus giving a better perspective and a newer frame to look through.
Being self destructive surely doesn't help - it takes you into a downward spiral where you cannot look up and find any light. What others say about you or how they see you is entirely their upto their own frame. For an individual, the sense of being should lie in what gives them happiness, things that interest them, intrigue them and maybe stimulate their senses. If you like wearing flipflops, wear 'em! If you love dressing up a certain way, do it! That is exactly how you can bring out the best in you because you are not thinking about social acceptance! The part of your brain which always stays occupied into the "social" thought is now free to be utilised into better things.
Mirrors get clearer when you wipe the grime off of them and you see a better yourself!
Here's an excersize. Fish out the people you are physically attracted to - close friends? college crush? actresses? singers? performers? Now see what you like - all good right? Close your eyes, count to 5 and then see what's wrong with them - you will have a far more realistic picture.
And if you have the guts, try to do this with the people you hate / dislike. Try to see what's good in them... Mind = BLOWN!
"Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment." - Ralph Marston
Yes i m proud of you...
ReplyDeleteI do understand that one should not get biased with the view points of others, it doesn't gives us the right perspective. But at times the perspective that society wants to show you or the pre defined laws and ways tell you are correct.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do accept that influencing our way of thinking by others perspective is making our mind pre occupied. But don't you think when you compare the jeans you are wearing with someone else and feel that your wardrobe needs an update, that is constructive. Coz it is also proven that you need this type of comparison to keep that aura of positive energy.
Judging and comparison is not always destructive. It's just like a self SWOT analysis. It is just on an individual how he or she takes the results rather failure.
If you don't compare or judge you never know where to improve. That is essential for growth.
Nice write up. If you have any emotions while writing, do write them in main article rather than to use bracket, just a thought.